PARAPHILIA AND UNCOMMON SEX PRACTICES
March 17th, 2009Most people tend to be suspicious of sexual behaviors that are uncommon. While it is true that some paraphilias, such as pedophilia, are harmful, many people also think negatively about harmless paraphilias and other uncommon sex practices. Years ago, for example, Americans generally thought that oral and anal sex were revolting. Since World War II, however, the majority of sexually active Americans have come to enjoy oral sex, and about 30 percent have experimented with anal intercourse. Once considered paraphilias, oral and anal sex are now increasingly common sexual behaviors.
Although uncommon sex practices can alienate others, including potential sex partners, there are opportunities in which they can be enjoyed with partners who are comfortable with them. Instead of “flashing” people on the street, for example, exhibitionists who like to show off their bodies or engage in sex in front of others can join clubs to meet their needs with other people who want to share this practice. There are organizations for foot fetishists, transvestites, mate-swappers, and others. There are also clubs where members can learn safe sadomasochistic role play. Sex clubs and organizations for various uncommon sex practices can be found in magazines or on the Internet.
People who lead perfectly ordinary lives and have successful jobs and family responsibilities may enjoy uncommon sex practices. It is important to be honest about our sexual preferences with our partners in order to achieve sexual satisfaction with their consent and understanding.
Enjoying uncommon sex practices does not make us deviant or dysfunctional. If, however, we can be aroused only by a paraphilia that harms others or involves them without their consent, we must seek professional counseling as soon as possible.
Wherever we are on our sexual journey, we may want to keep in mind that we are all very different. Our journey may not be the same as anyone else’s. We won’t travel at the same speed or arrive at any milestone at the same time or in the same way. Our sexual journey is not a race. There is no need to hurry, and there is no prize for being the first to get there. Accepting that each of us is unique will only make the journey that much more enjoyable and fulfilling.
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