PARENTHOOD: SEX AFTER THE BABY IS BORN
March 17th, 2009During childbirth, some women have a procedure called an episiotomy. An episiotomy is an incision through the skin and muscles in the perineum, the area between the vagina and the anus. This incision is made just before delivery and before the baby’s head comes out. It’s done to help prevent the baby from naturally tearing the skin and tissue in areas that would cause more complications.
Not every woman has an episiotomy. Some health care providers do not believe it is necessary, while others say that it helps a woman heal more quickly after labor. How rapidly a woman heals affects how soon she may have sex after childbirth.
In general, health care providers suggest waiting about four to six weeks before resuming sexual intercourse. This allows the body to heal and the uterus and vagina to return to their pre-pregnancy size. There is also a time after childbirth called the postpartum period, a time of both physical and psychological adjustment for a woman and everyone in her family. It is a time of intense emotional highs and lows. A father may soon become jealous of the closeness between a mother and newborn. A new mom might feel that she has to care closely for the baby and doesn’t want to be distracted by others. She may not be interested in sexual activity.
Breast-feeding is another way a mother forms a close bond with an infant. This is a very special relationship. Breast feeding has very practical benefits. It helps weight loss for the new mom and causes the body to release a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin causes contractions of the uterus during breast-feeding, which help the uterus return to its normal size. These contractions can be sexually pleasurable. Some women feel guilty over these sexual feelings, but they are perfectly normal and natural.
Breast-feeding can also affect sexual intercourse. A decrease in estrogen can inhibit vaginal lubrication. This can make sex painful. The interactions of hormones in some breast-feeding women may cause decreased sexual desire. In addition, a woman’s breasts and nipples may be tender and sore. Some women are self-conscious because their breasts leak milk. Other women feel that the close skin-to-skin contact they have with their infants while breast feeding is enough physical contact for them. Still other women simply do not have the energy for sex. Lack of sleep and unrelenting fatigue tend to decrease a woman’s interest in sex.
New parents have to make a lot of adjustments. The first few months of parenthood are filled with fatigue from interrupted sleep due to feeding and changing diapers. Some new moms and dads have low sexual interest after childbirth. Decreased interest can have physical or emotional causes like tiredness, lack of privacy, or feeling self-conscious about one’s body. Communication and understanding from both new parents can help make this transition smoother.
Being an adult has many responsibilities whether or not we have partners and whether or not we have children. Not only are we responsible for taking care of our emotional and physical health, but we must also consider others. We may make commitments that we must keep. We have to take full responsibility for all of our actions. We must continually educate ourselves. Above all, respecting ourselves and others is something that we should never fail to do. These are all essential keys to our sexual health and happiness.
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