If you’ve asked a certain person out a number of times and that person keeps saying no, then perhaps you just have to face the fact that this person doesn’t want to go out with you. It can be difficult to know exactly how many times you should ask before giving up altogether. In part it will depend on what the person says when turning you down. If the person tells you that he or she is already dating someone else or simply isn’t interested in you, then that’s a pretty clear sign that you should stop asking. But if the person says ‘I’m sorry, but I’m busy’ or doesn’t give a clear reason for saying no, you might want to try again. Perhaps the person really is busy, but would like to go out with you another time. But if you’ve tried a few times and have had this kind of reply, you might want to say something like ‘Is there a time when we could get together?’ The answer to this question will usually give a clear idea of whether it’s worth continuing to ask this person out.

If you’ve asked a number of different people out and all of them have said no, you may start to feel discouraged. You may even start to feel that there’s something so wrong or so horrible about you that no one will ever say yes. But before you allow yourself to feel down and discouraged, you might think for a moment about just who it is you’re asking out. Maybe you’re asking the wrong people. Are you asking only the best-looking or most popular people? If so, this may be part of your problem. For one thing, the best-looking and most popular people may already have lots of people asking them out, so your chances aren’t as good as they would be if you asked someone less popular or not totally gorgeous. The fact that someone is popular or good-looking doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to have a great time with that person. What’s more important is whether the person is nice, whether the two of you could be comfortable with each other, whether you could have fun together. The person’s inner qualities are more important than being popular or good-looking.

You might also ask yourself how well you know the people you’re asking out. If you’re asking people you hardly know, this may be a big part of the reason you keep getting turned down. If you take the time to get to know someone and to let them get to know you first, you’ll have a better chance of having the person say yes when you ask for a date.

It might also be helpful for you to have a mutual friend check things out before you ask for a date. Your friend can give you an idea of how the person might respond. If the person isn’t interested, you’ll save yourself the discouragement of being turned down again. In addition, you might ask some of your friends who they think you should ask for a date. People love to play matchmaker and your friends may come up with someone you wouldn’t have thought of by yourself. They may even know someone who’s been dying to go out with you! So don’t hesitate to enlist your friends’ help.

Above all, don’t give up. Somewhere out there is someone who’d just love to go out with you. We guarantee it!

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